Today’s excerpt is from an acknowledged American classic:
Scientists believe America was discovered by Erik the Red, the world’s first communist, sometime in the After Dark Ages. Erik and his viking shipmates, all called Erik, outsmarted Royal Danish revenue collectors – whose exorbitant tax on Danishes had crippled the North Sea sweet pastry industry and resulted, in 1066, in the Diet of Scones – by masquerading as Scandinavian women. “Jühü, taxmänner! Wir lieben euch langseim! Ich am Erika!” became the catchcry of the wouldbe viqueen sirens; henceforth the mythical country of the bearded lady protoMarxists became known as am-Erika. The revenue men, already hardened after months at sea, gripped their stiff longswords. Suddenly seamen spurted from the ship in great foaming gouts…
although i am basking in the rays of your partial sendero luminoso please send more pastry as the lack thereof is preventing me from properly celebrating my indigent cultural heritage. you are all also slow-notified that the oppression must stop and the flakey crumbs must flow. actually Trotsky’s in more of a hurry and the line for that bathroom is a bitch.
11:24 and I’d like to restate that last tractment…
it’s too late.